Sometimes there is art that feels like it’s made just for you. I’ve never been much into poetry or dance or whatever so for me when the feeling comes it’s in a movie. The last time I had the experience was Men in Black, which felt then (and still does) like it was made just for me and my idiot friends.
But this movie captures something even more direct – Burnham is speaking (with considerably more wit and verve than I could, obviously) about his approaching to thinking about the world and big issues and important thoughts in exactly the same way I do. I feel seen, fam.
The kindred sensibilities are the thing – I could never come up with anything half as funny as How the World Works, or Welcome to the Internet, or Problematic, or That Funny Feeling and on and on and on….but they are all concises articulations of almost exactly how I think and feel about the same stuff.
Just straight hits of dopamine straight into my brain.
I actually don’t have too much to say about this – either you enjoy a solid homage to 80s slasher pictures with its tongue just enough in cheek or you don’t. I saw the trailer for this only a few days before it appeared on Netflix and my instant excitement was well rewarded.
There is a surprising amount of craft involved here – the backstories are interestingly framed and intermixed with just enough of the scares and violence to keep you on the edge of your seat with a mixture of tension, and giggling recognition. You actually care about these poor, mostly-doomed, characters and their shitty lives in Shadyside (hee). And just enough twists to keep you on your toes without feeling like a cheat.
And of course, there is the most important lesson: Never stop stabbing.
What starts as a seemingly straight-forward tale about a (somewhat) morally conflicted hit man becomes…..something else.
Jay has a beautiful small family in a small house and things generally seem to be going ok. But Jay has money troubles. And his wife, who appears to know that Jay has….a very particular set of skills….is pressuring him to take on an assignment, as he hasn’t worked since the disastrous (and oft-alluded to but never explained) Kiev job. When his best pal also starts leaning on him to undertake a new gig Jay finds himself reluctantly agreeing.
And then things get weird. Why are his victims thanking him for killing them. Why are they waiting until being alone with him and then professing their admiration and honor in being dispatched. What exactly is going on???
While the movie never really explains anything and gets more and more impressionistic as it goes along, it’s really a portrait of a complete descent into evil as Jay gradually loses everything that used to keep him in check. Is it his fault or is it part of a conspiracy? Are supernatural forces in place? Was Jay always going to end up this way? Does he actually want to be this way? Well, isn’t it easier really?
So, first things first, what is a horror movie? I think you need some kind of outsized evil – demonic, ghostly, alien, serial killer, something – that is killing, hunting, or otherwise making life miserable for one or more of our protagonists. Clearly plenty of movies have pushed the boundaries of that definition but I think you need that some kind of malevolent force to truly be considered horror.
So what to do when the thing trying to kill our character is her own brain? (And no, not in a Malevolent crazy way.)
Maud has experienced something terrible; we never really get to know what it is but something went very, very wrong at the hospital where she was working. And going through that fundamentally broke her.
The one thing that Maud can never do now is think about why she’s so unhappy or about why things might happen. She is devoted – in the sense of dedicating her very being – to God now. And surely that makes it alright, yes? Please? It has to.
And then the ending…..whoooooo boy. That’ll stick with you.
Derek DelGaudio is apparently generally regarded as one of the world’s top slight-of-hand magicians, but here’s much less interested in showing off that talent here than he is in creating an atmosphere and telling a story. All of you are lucky that I only saw this movie and wasn’t in attendance for the off-broadway show; if I had actually seen this in person I would’ve never shut up about it. Just watching the movie on hulu was enrapturing enough.
#9 – Freaky (2020)
Nothing we haven’t seen before but I am a sucker for this kind of movie, particularly when the performances are this good and the vibe is right. Very ’20s girl-empowerment theme with a topping of post-Whedon sass without crossing the line. Kathryn Newton has fun with the teenage-cheerleader-becomes-murderer bit but the real gem is absolutely Vince Vaughn living his inner teenybopper. Exaggerated for fun effect but not too much.
“What’s your favorite movie?”
“I tell people it’s Eternal Sunshine but it’s Pitch Perfect 2.”
That, my friends, is relatability.
#8 – Fear Street: Part Two – 1978 (2021)
I loved this series so so so very much. This middle-episode Friday-the-13th takeoff was a perfect instance of the modern definition of satire – both making jokes at the expense of the overdone well-known tropes while also serving as a great example of the form. The characters all had plausible motivations and backstories for being the way they are and doing the things they do and there was a solid double (triple?)-twistaroo ending to really land it.
#7 – The Mitchells vs the Machines (2021)
Whip-smart movie about a whip-smart kid and her relatably-dysfunctional family. This is pure joy in animated, playful, what-the-heck-let’s-try-it form. I didn’t know this was a Lord & Miller joint going in by when it was done I would’ve been shocked if it wasn’t (they “only” produced it but their sensibilities are all over the film). Fabulous semi-groundbreaking design (Katie is something of a youtube star, you see) is incorporated well; it’s not Spider-Verse, but it’s also the best thing since in terms of pushing the format.
#6: Dune (2021)
The acting is fine, the script is solid, but who even gives half a damn about those minor elements when something LOOKS THIS COOL.
The legendarily “unfilmable” novel avoids Lynch’s problem by taking two movies to tell the story and, frankly, making the good decision to just cut some of it – we really don’t need to know everything (or, more like it, anything) about the Butlerian Jihad and the rise of Mentats and how Navigators work and exactly why Spice is so precious and Emperial Politics and etc and etc. That stuff may work great for a book but much less so for a visual medium.
This version concentrates on the military and the bene gesserit which is just the right amount or plot. But the real star of this show is the set design – everything looks fantastic and the scale of so many shots is frankly mind-blowing.
Movies that I thought would make my Top Ten while watching them (or soon after) but ultimately just couldn’t get there.
#15 – Wolf of Snow Hollow (2020)
There was no shortage of funny moments in this portrait of a man completely falling apart as he’s overwhelmed by taking on too much….and oh yeah also there is a werewolf apparently?
#14 – Wrong Turn (2021)
Compelling “teens-lost-in-the-woods” thriller. Never sure exactly what was happening with enough propulsive energy to not spend too much time trying to figure it all out. This also had the second-best ending of anything I saw in 2021.
#13 – The Suicide Squad (2021)
Glorious. Whom amongst us ever thought we’d live to see the day when Starro was the villain in a major motion picture. With all of the madness on display, the moment that really stuck with me was the look on Bloodsport’s (hee!) face as he was being told Peacemaker’s identical origin story.
Also: I would pay anything for a weasel solo movie.
#12 – Underwater (2020)
Kristen Stewart is just so goddamn good. The script to this Cthuloid creature feature is above average, with no downtime at all, but it’s her gripping performance that kept me on the edge of my seat the whole time.
#11 – Free Guy (2021)
I so so wanted to get this into the top 10 but ultimately couldn’t do it. My apologies to Jodie, I feel like I let her down. This was pure fun, but just didn’t hit as hard for me as the next 10. Maybe with a different ending (which had a good emotional payoff in the primary world but didn’t make any damn sense at all for Blue Shirt Guy) or less of the breathless media coverage of something going on in a video game it could’ve made it.
Did I like these as much as I like Carly Rae Jepsen? Well, no, but c’mon.
#25 – Boss Level (2020)
This year’s biggest winner for exceeding expectations. There is nothing new in this movie, but the fight choreography is exceptional, the back story actually mattered, the style was good, the bits of humor were funny – just a very well-executed action/sci-fi movie when I thought I was just putting on something to watch in the background while I did other stuff.
I could feel the pressure of the ominousness and foreboding throughout. The film seems to have changed its mind several times about whether or not there was an actual haunting, but either way the final culmination is striking.
#22 – Portrait of a Lady on Fire (2019)
Lovingly sensual examination of art and humanity. I never felt like I fully understood or knew either character, but perhaps that was the point?
#21 – Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story (2007)
The definitive fauxumentary is jam-packed full of quality jokes, but this is about as high as a movie like this could possibly rank. Definitely a good time.
#20 – Enola Holmes (2020)
Millie Bobby Brown is just incredibly charming and plays this highly enjoyable take on the Holmes legend with aplomb. I found myself smiling through pretty much this whole thing. Cavill’s distant and somewhat gruff Sherlock was also appreciated as a background character instead of having a whole new set of tics and oddities as has become the fashion.
#19 – The Empty Man (2020)
In the end it didn’t all really fit together, but they were trying something different and new and I applaud the effort. Another entry in the super-creepy-ambiance, what-is-happening-here horror catalogue. The extended prologue was probably the high point and set the tone for everything that followed.
#18 – Raw (2016)
At the end of the day, we’re all just slaves to these meat-bags we call bodies, right? That seems to be the point of this movie, with a large side of feminist coming-of-age. Alternatively, this is an expose of French vet school culture, which looks pretty terrible for all parties. Not for the faint of heart.
#17 – A Simple Favor (2018)
This is what perfect casting can do. Blake Lively’s above-it-all haughtiness combining with Kendrick’s girl-next-door make a perfect combo, particularly when it starts to come out that Anna has a bit more subversiveness in her than you might think at first (which only attracts Lively to her more). The crime plot is not great but engaging enough but the real fun is watching these actors bounce off of each other.
#16 – 22 Jump Street (2014)
How were these movies so good??? It should be impossible, right? Like, just trying to describe them makes me feel stupid for liking them this much. Tatum’s comic timing is the underrated star.
Because, see, the remaining movies are better than just “good.” That was clear, right?
#34 – Shutter (2004)
From the golden age of Asian avenging-spirits cinema. Genuinely creepy.
#33 – Shang Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings (2021)
Great fun and pretty good acting (Awkwafina!) before it devolves into the disappointingly standard Marvel CGI climax in the last third.
#32 – Red Sparrow (2018)
Interesting spy/assassin movie with surprisingly good action sequences but, ummmmm, some, er, problematic scenes in a this-was-obviously-directed-by-a-man way. Arguably that was meta-commentary on the form, but I don’t think so.
#31 – The Invisible Man (2020)
Perfect marriage of genre material and social commentary, as the (ahem) invisible forces that lead to women being presumed to be hysterical or over-reacting or just trying for attention all work against Elizabeth Moss in excruciating detail.
#30 – The Poseidon Adventure (1972)
The platonic ideal of ’70s disaster flicks. A game cast playing it just straight enough without overdoing the histrionics and a barely-plausible-enough ridiculous catastrophe that resulted in some great set moments.
#29 – Ginger Snaps (2000)
Not exactly subtle in any sense, but cool subversive fun regardless.
#28 – Session 9 (2001)
Unusual thriller than actually kept me in suspense for most of its runtime. There were a lot of things that could’ve been going on here and most of them were interesting! David Caruso’s penultimate movie before getting dragged back into CSI and oblivion.
#27 – Black Widow (2021)
Florence Pugh is the best and whenever I think of this movie it’s her little moments (and maybe some David Harbour) that come to mind and not the silly plot and flying saucer madness ending.
#26 – A Perfect Getaway (2009)
I completely knew exactly where this movie was going….until I changed my mind about 5 different times.
Bonkers fun for 2/3 of the running time, slightly marred by (Spoiler Warning for a 6-year-old minor horror release I guess?) the revelation that nothing supernatural was going on, it was just the now-older kid running around behind a bunch of fake walls ‘n’ stuff.
#42 – Catch Me If You Can (2002)
Rollicking good time with Leo being the fantasy conman that can talk his way into and out of any situation and never really hurt anybody. Wouldn’t that be fun if it was possible?
#41 – Salt (2010)
Angelica Jolie understands how to do everything required for an action movie. And it’s a good thing too, because you can enjoy her kicking ass and taking names and doing great stunts and not have to think about how utterly ridiculous this plot is and how many coincidences needed to happen just so for any of it to work at all.
#40 – Hearts of Darkness: A Filmmaker’s Apocalypse (1991)
Okay, hey, you convinced me – Coppola was absolutely crazynutballs. Dayum.
#39 – Unfriended (2014)
The all-online group chat conceit worked MUCH better than I expected. Otherwise a fairly standard avenging-ghost horror movie – but hey, I like those!
#38 – Fear Street Part 3: 1666 (2021)
Fun but definitely the least impressive of this trilogy. Further discussion to come later.
#37 – Don’t Breathe (2016)
Tense action thriller with an obvious turn-the-tables premise and a not-so-obvious (and rather disturbing) counter-turn.
#36 – Borat! Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan (2006)
I’m not even going to try to say something original about Borat.
#35 – How to Talk to Girls at Parties (2017)
Definitely the sweetest alien punk coming-of-age acid trip invasion mutiny romance movie I’ve ever seen. Golly do I wish this had done better commercially. Have I mentioned lately how great Elle Fanning is?
What can I say, I’m a sucker for a high-production-values adventure movie where all the actors seem to be having fun.
#50 – Blood Red Sky (2021)
Classic better-than-it-had-to-be action/horror romp. Would’ve been fine as a vampire-based, no I’m not trapped on this plane with you hijackers, you’re trapped on this plane with ME. But they actually invested in the characters and bothered to take time to explore motivations.
#49: Capricorn One (1977)
Very much a don’t-trust-the-goddamn-government movie from the time of Watergate, but seems even more prescient in our current media-driven environment.
#48: Time Trap (2017)
Shockingly, one of the better movies to have a somewhat-explicable time travel plot. Unfortunately, the ending wipes out the stakes for almost everything that came before.
#47 – Warm Bodies (2013)
Cute idea that, frankly, was handled much better in the book. Nick Hoult is great as, umm, the zombie, and Rod Corrdry (as, ummm, the other zombie) gives as much nuance as the script allows, but a defter script treatment and a director that trusted the material more and this could’ve been a cult classic.
#46 – A Quiet Place 2 (2020)
Emily Blunt does her absolute best to carry this movie far ahead of where it should be from it’s very basic plot. She’s more than good enough to make this watchable but nothing could make this feel vital or necessary.
#45 – Boiler Room (2000)
Vin Diesel, morally compromised stockbroker with a soul! More of him would’ve been better.
#44 – The Tomorrow War (2021)
If you’re going to make a by-the-numbers sci-fi war thriller, you could do worse than casting Yvonne Strahovski, Sam Richardson, and Chris Pratt.
