
#216: The Devil’s Pass (2013)

Lame takeoff of Blair Witch has some interesting “based on a true story” stuff but with a bunch of plot holes and woo woo nonsense exposition. I would’ve preferred an actual documentary on the Dyatlov Pass Incident (although as I understand it it’s basically a solved mystery at this point.
#215: Fear Street: Prom Queen (2025)

Long-term readers of this here blog will recall how much I loved the original trilogy in this series and those who followed me back when I was a twitter slave* know that my horror movie mantra of “never stop stabbing” originated with them as well.
So it was a pretty big comedown to watch this installment just be unimaginative dreck. Rote 80’s-style horror although at least there are so many suspects that it’s basically impossible to guess at who the killer is. But the 80’s gore without any inventiveness didn’t do it for me and the plotting was meh. Pass.
*The one thing I have to give to Elon is inadvertently rescuing me from social media, since as soon as he bought it I knew it would turn into a terrible cesspool.
#214: The Mother (2023)

Interesting that this is a standardized genre now – JLo plays the badass secret agent / assassin / rogue spy who has to give up her daughter for the daughter’s own good and then when the shit hits the fan has to teacher her to be an assassin at 12. This one doesn’t really work as a spy action thriller or a heartwarming family drama.
#213: Gladiator II (2024)

A pale imitation of the original. Denzel is widely acknowledged as the only good part of the film, and yes he is having fun, but honestly even he isn’t having a good time, not really. CGI flattens the big scenes in a way not seen in the original. The archers are perfect when the script needs them to be and incompetent otherwise (I guess they went to the Imperial Stormtrooper Sharpshooting Academy). People switch their life-long held beliefs based on single conversations.
#212: Emilia Perez (2024)

What. The. Holy. Fuck.
Gets this high for the sheer audacity. The second-biggest surprise* is the Zoe Saldana can really sing
I am reasonably sure that this movie features the only high-tempo musical dance number set in a post-op gender confirmation clinic. Unfortunately that fact doesn’t make this a movie that actually makes sense or that is sufficiently gonzo throughout to be fun.
*You know, after <waves around frantically> everything.
#211: The Tree if Life (2011)

Begins as a compelling family drama that is interrupted by extended ludicrous and over-weighty nature sequences that are sometimes very cool and are sometimes the dinosaurs being wiped out for some reason and extensive fairly generic B roll of kids growing up. Maybe I’m too cold hearted or dim to get it but yeeeeesh. All the direct discussion with God stuff is….not original or compelling.
I also did not care for the introduction of Pitt’s dad character as a basic good guy then gradually revealing that he’s actually a pretty typical 50s character abusive dad (granted more emotionally than physically but still) – just manipulative and mean spirited. I will say, it was beautifully shot, and the parts allegedly in Houston were definitely in Houston, including my building.
I think the record will show that I can really love some of this deep philosophical shit but this just did not land for me at all and it all seemed like a weird distraction from a thin but somewhat interesting story about a 50s family that I’ve seen a bunch before; why couldn’t we just focus on that instead of all the weighty loaded BS.
(I really wanted to put this widely-acknowledged classic of the 21st century behind Emilia Perez but I just couldn’t quite do it)
#210: A Serious Man (2009)

JFC all these people are just terrible! Selfish, thoughtless assholes who cannot think of anyone other than themselves. Is this supposed to be funny? I guess its a satire of some kind but its just infuriating. And like it’s the Book of Job I guess, I get it, but that doesnt make it fun to watch, and the Devine testing you is one thing, but people have free will and when everyone acts that way all the time, screw them you know? And yes yes yes i get it about the ending reinforcing the theme that its not about getting the answers but omfg it was so frustrating. Ughhhh!!
Up Next: The Group That Wasn’t Quite Good Enough To Get Over the Line


























































